Giving God Control

After a week of staying on track, I've lost four pounds. I'm feeling pretty good about it and having a successful week is making it easier to keep going and stay focused.

I feel like a big part of the challenge for me is mental. When I can get my head in the right place it seems like I do better at keeping my eating under control. I won't lie to you, yesterday was hard. I just had an off day where my mood was down and I wanted to eat my emotions.

The good news is, I was able to keep it together. I read my devotional (Made to Crave) and I was able to resist the urge to eat everything in the house. I'm proud of myself and knowing that I was successful is encouraging me to keep going in the right direction.

I cannot stress enough that keeping my mind on God is key. Relying on Him to give me the strength I needed to keep me on track was the only way I was able to get through yesterday. And I know that if I allow Him to He will get me through each day moving forward.

If I allow myself to think too far ahead I just get overwhelmed by how far I have to go. It is important that I only think about the present moment and take one day at a time.

I can find strength in this scripture:

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear...He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

There really is always a way out of temptation. If we are willing to allow God to have control in these situations He will always provide an escape. You just have to trust in Him.

I encourage you to give God a chance to be in control of your journey. Take one day at a time. Get into His word and find scriptures that encourage you. Write them down and keep them in a place where you will see them often. I recommend the refrigerator door or your bathroom mirror. Don't give up, we can do this!

Till next time, God bless! :)

Confession Time

Yet again I have allowed myself to lose control. I find myself back at the beginning and at an all time high with my weight. I now weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life. I didn't weigh this much when I was nine months pregnant with my ten pound baby boy.

I feel like a nine month pregnant person. I'm miserable, I have trouble moving, my clothes are uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure I wobble when I walk.

The cold hard truth is, I'm the only one that can do anything about it. The problem is, I feel so defeated that I don't even know where to start. I feel so overwhelmed with where I have allowed myself to get and this hurdle just feels impossible to get over.

So, beginning again, one day at a time. If I can make it one day, then I can make it two days and so on. Right now though, I have to focus on that ONE DAY. If I think past that I just can't deal. I start to feel the pressure of making the right choices all the time and start to feel out of control.

I truly feel like the right thing for me to do right now is to count calories and try to be more active. Counting calories will allow me a little more freedom with food choices. If I want a piece of chocolate, I can have it. But, I also know that making healthier choices will allow me to improve my health and eat a little more. The goal is health, plain and simple.

In the past several months I have been following the Keto diet plan and I did lose some weight. But, I fell off the wagon and gained it all back. I found all the food restrictions to be difficult to handle and I would end up binge eating carbs and sugar.

One thing I know about myself is that I just can't have trigger foods in the house. If it's here, I will eat it. That's just a cold, hard fact. I have very little self control when it comes to food. I've had to own this truth about myself.

I do have a slow metabolism (hypothyroidism) which puts a kink in things. But, I don't want to allow this to be an excuse. I know I can still lose weight. I just have to put a little extra effort into it.

At this point I'm desperate for change. I'm taking the first step by being transparent and sharing my failures with you. The next step is to start holding myself accountable for my choices, counting my calories and moving my butt.

One other thing I must do is put my faith in God to help me through this. I know that all things are possible with God. When I try to rely on my own abilities it never works. I have to put my eyes on Him and allow Him to take control.

So, I'm starting again and I invite you to come along on the journey. I can almost assure you that it will not be a smooth journey, but it will be interesting.

Till next time...God bless!

What I've Learned So Far

When I began sharing my journey, I said I would be honest. So far the journey has been slow but steady; but in the past two weeks I have experienced a set-back. I have gained a few pounds and I feel I must share not only my success, but also my miss-steps.

I have no one to blame but myself. I have indulged, I haven't exercised as often; in general, I've been lazy!

What I've learned through this whole process though, is how strong I really am and how far I have come since the beginning.

When I weighed last week and saw a gain, I was truly angry with myself. The rest of my day was a disaster, as far as self control goes; let's just say, I didn't have any. I literally threw in the towel, but only for the day.

By the end of the day I was still angry at myself, angrier because of my loss of control, but more determined than ever to get where I'm headed.

I can't explain it, but I just know, that I know, that I know that I will only fail if I don't get back up, dust myself off and get my head straight again.

I know that with God's help I can do anything I put my mind to.

So, with all that said, I'm scrapping a couple of bad weeks and starting fresh.

I've learned that giving into a craving and having it in the house leads to a binge for me. I just can't handle it. If I'm going to have a treat, it needs to be a serving size and that's it, no left overs, no seconds. If it's here, I will eat it.

I've learned that I need to exercise. Even if it's just for 15 minutes, I need some form of exercise everyday.  It not only helps me with weight loss, it helps with my mood. I'm a much happier, relaxed person when I exercise.

So, I've stumbled, I've taken a step back, and now I'm dusting myself off and I'm back on track. I hope that by sharing my journey, the good, bad and the ugly, that I will encourage someone else who is fighting the same battle.

I would love to hear from you. Feel free to comment and share your struggles, successes or tips!

Till next time, God bless!! :)

On a Roll

I am so excited and proud to say that I have lost 42 pounds since the beginning of this journey.  

Yesterday morning at my weekly weigh-in, not only did I lose 3.2 pounds, but I also reached a personal milestone.  I did an embarrassing little happy dance when I got off the scale and I haven't been able to stop smiling since.

This has been one of the hardest battles I have fought.  I can truly say there have been times when I wanted to throw in the towel and just quit because the progress seemed slow and it was just so hard.

The determination that I have to get healthy is stronger than it ever has been.  I still have a ways to go, but I'm closer than I've been in a long time to reaching my goals.

At a very low point, when I felt like all my hard work was in vain, I seriously thought, 'Okay, I'm done, I'm giving up!' But, then I took a look back at how far I had come and it became impossible for me to quit.  I had to keep going!  I remember thinking at that moment, 'I've got this.  This time is really going to stick.'

Like I said, I have a ways to go before I reach my final goal, but I feel more certain than ever that I will get there.

I hope that my story might encourage anyone who may be on the same journey.  If I can do it, so can you!  I have an extremely slow metabolism, having hypothyroidism.  For most of this journey my condition has been out of control.  I have had my medications changed about four times since the start of this ride.  It hasn't been easy, but it is so worth it!

Just a Quick Update

Since beginning this journey in October of last year, I have lost a total of 35 pounds.  I admit, I get frustrated with how slow the progress seems at times. But when I break it down, it comes out to 3.888888... pounds a month; that's pretty good for someone with an extremely sluggish thyroid.
 
I'm still walking.  I found a peppier version of the one mile "Walk Away the Pounds" on YouTube.  It is much faster paced and incorporates a lot more side steps, kicks, kick backs, knee lifts and arm movements.  I do believe it is a better workout than the original DVD I was using which would allow you to walk one, two or three miles.  The first mile was kinda slow, working you up to the two and three mile walk.  The version I'm doing now seems to give me a better, more aggressive workout and I intend to use it until I am comfortable with moving on to a longer walk.  I have also started incorporating some upper body toning; trying to get rid of my bat wings! Overall, I feel like I'm making steady progress.

Up until this past week I have been doing Weight Watchers Online.  I decided this week to switch to Fitness Pal, just because I don't want to pay the monthly fee for Weight Watchers.  I feel both of these tools work well.

Tracking is the most crucial step for my success.  I do not feel in control if I'm not tracking what I eat.

Current Snacking Favorites:

• Sargentos Sharp Cheddar Jack Cheese Stick - 80 Calories
• Yoplait Greek Whips Key Lime Pie Yogurt - 100 Calories
• Sabra Supremely Spicy Hummus - 70 Calories per 2 Tablespoons
• Frozen Red Grapes

Frustration

Monday, October 13, 2014 - 9:00 a.m.

I know I really shouldn't be complaining.  I have lost 7 1/2 pounds since starting over.  But this past week the scale hasn't moved and it is incredibly frustrating.

I have tracked all my food, I have stayed within my calorie range, I have exercised and nothing, not even 1/2 a pound.  It's days like this that I get so discouraged and wonder if it's even worth the fight.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up.  I just need to vent and I promised I would be honest.  I wouldn't be being honest with you or myself if I didn't admit how hard this is sometimes.

Monday, October 13, 2014 - 10:48 p.m.

After the frustration of this morning's weigh-in I was determined not to let my disappointment affect my choices today.  In the past it has been my downfall.  Having a bad weigh-in would almost always lead to a binge.

Not today, today I made solid choices.  I had soup for lunch and a smart, healthy afternoon snack.  I saved the bulk of my calories for this evening.  I had Bunco at a friend's house and I was pretty certain there would be something tempting to eat; and I was right.  My dear friend made Apple Dumplings for dessert and I was able to indulge.

I'm so proud of myself for not losing control.  I can go to sleep tonight with no regrets on my mind.

Confession Time

I must confess, the past week and a half have been incredibly difficult for me.  At times I literally lost control, and I failed to journal most of last week.  As I've shared before, journaling is essential for me.

I have no trouble putting my finger on the problem.  I have been feeling stressed and then I came down with a nasty cold.  Those are two huge triggers for me.  My self-control went right down the drain and I ate just about everything I could put my hands on.  (I'm not kidding!!)

Confession made, I'm happy to report that I am back on track this week.  I have regained my self-control and determination.  I refuse to turn back.  This journey isn't easy; I never thought it would be.  Nothing worth doing is ever easy...right?

The reason I share this detour in my journey (I refuse to call it a failure.  Failure is falling down and not getting back up.) is to let you know that I'm human.  I make mistakes and it's okay.

I want to encourage anyone who is traveling this road with me to be real.  Don't beat yourself up when you stumble.  Get up, dust yourself off and keep moving.  We can do this!  Take it one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.


Philippians 4:13
I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Weigh-In Day

Well, it's Tuesday, weigh-in time.  I have really been dreading the scales.  I haven't done just awful this week, but I didn't do as well as I would have liked.  I really have this "can't do" attitude going on at the moment and I know I have got to overcome it.  I need and want to get back to that place where I feel I am in control.

I gained half a pound this week.  I'm not surprised.  I'm just glad it wasn't more.  I know what I have been doing wrong and I know that I need to get more active.  So, this week, my goal is to stay on target and to incorporate more activity and movement into each day.

I really thought at this point in the journey I would be further along, but I have been my own road block.  I have sabotaged myself at every turn.  I am my own worst enemy.  I could make all kinds of excuses for why I have stalled and screwed up along the way, but the truth is, I just haven't committed.

So, here's to another start.  This week I am challenging myself.  I am going to prove to myself that I can win.  I can control my behavior and I have the power to change.

Yikes! It's Been a Bad Week

Well, I told you at the beginning that I was going to be honest.  I have had a really bad week.  I didn't just fall off the wagon, I dove off head first.

I have ate everything and anything I could get my hands on.  I don't know what happened to my determination.  It's like I just flipped a switch and things went haywire.  I feel really lousy about this mis-step, but I am not giving up.  I am not going to let this get me down.  

My best friend called me during my out of control spiral and we have agreed to be accountable to each other.  I am very grateful that I have her in my life.  She is like a sister to me and I know that I can tell her anything without fear of judgement.  I just wish she lived closer.  

Now that I have confessed my failure, I have to prepare for a new week and a new start.  I know that I can do this.  I am in control.