What I've Learned So Far

When I began sharing my journey, I said I would be honest. So far the journey has been slow but steady; but in the past two weeks I have experienced a set-back. I have gained a few pounds and I feel I must share not only my success, but also my miss-steps.

I have no one to blame but myself. I have indulged, I haven't exercised as often; in general, I've been lazy!

What I've learned through this whole process though, is how strong I really am and how far I have come since the beginning.

When I weighed last week and saw a gain, I was truly angry with myself. The rest of my day was a disaster, as far as self control goes; let's just say, I didn't have any. I literally threw in the towel, but only for the day.

By the end of the day I was still angry at myself, angrier because of my loss of control, but more determined than ever to get where I'm headed.

I can't explain it, but I just know, that I know, that I know that I will only fail if I don't get back up, dust myself off and get my head straight again.

I know that with God's help I can do anything I put my mind to.

So, with all that said, I'm scrapping a couple of bad weeks and starting fresh.

I've learned that giving into a craving and having it in the house leads to a binge for me. I just can't handle it. If I'm going to have a treat, it needs to be a serving size and that's it, no left overs, no seconds. If it's here, I will eat it.

I've learned that I need to exercise. Even if it's just for 15 minutes, I need some form of exercise everyday.  It not only helps me with weight loss, it helps with my mood. I'm a much happier, relaxed person when I exercise.

So, I've stumbled, I've taken a step back, and now I'm dusting myself off and I'm back on track. I hope that by sharing my journey, the good, bad and the ugly, that I will encourage someone else who is fighting the same battle.

I would love to hear from you. Feel free to comment and share your struggles, successes or tips!

Till next time, God bless!! :)

Just a Quick Update

Since beginning this journey in October of last year, I have lost a total of 35 pounds.  I admit, I get frustrated with how slow the progress seems at times. But when I break it down, it comes out to 3.888888... pounds a month; that's pretty good for someone with an extremely sluggish thyroid.
 
I'm still walking.  I found a peppier version of the one mile "Walk Away the Pounds" on YouTube.  It is much faster paced and incorporates a lot more side steps, kicks, kick backs, knee lifts and arm movements.  I do believe it is a better workout than the original DVD I was using which would allow you to walk one, two or three miles.  The first mile was kinda slow, working you up to the two and three mile walk.  The version I'm doing now seems to give me a better, more aggressive workout and I intend to use it until I am comfortable with moving on to a longer walk.  I have also started incorporating some upper body toning; trying to get rid of my bat wings! Overall, I feel like I'm making steady progress.

Up until this past week I have been doing Weight Watchers Online.  I decided this week to switch to Fitness Pal, just because I don't want to pay the monthly fee for Weight Watchers.  I feel both of these tools work well.

Tracking is the most crucial step for my success.  I do not feel in control if I'm not tracking what I eat.

Current Snacking Favorites:

• Sargentos Sharp Cheddar Jack Cheese Stick - 80 Calories
• Yoplait Greek Whips Key Lime Pie Yogurt - 100 Calories
• Sabra Supremely Spicy Hummus - 70 Calories per 2 Tablespoons
• Frozen Red Grapes

Week Two Weigh-In Success

My second weigh-in since beginning my Weight Watchers Online journey went just as well as my first.  I lost another three pounds and I cannot express the joy I feel with each little success.

Here's one of the things I find amazing; I haven't been able to exercise since I started.  I have been sick for going on three weeks now.  I have had head/chest congestion, headache, no sleep and a terrible cough and I have been completely exhausted.  I look forward to seeing what kind of progress I can achieve once I can get to moving.

This week I plan to make the Weight Watchers 0 point Cabbage Soup.  Once I have made it and taste tested it, I will post the recipe on my cooking blog: www.whatscookingwithmandigirl.blogspot.com along with a review.  I have tried this soup before, but it has been a long time and I will be using a new recipe.

I look forward to seeing how this week's weigh-in goes.  Hopefully, it will show continued success.  I will also try to start posting some of my favorite snack and recipes as I go along.

I welcome your feedback.  If you have any tips, recipes or snack ideas, please share them in the comments.

Until next time, God bless!!

Starting Over Again

"I can not change yesterday, but I can change today!"

I am so hesitant to come back to this blog.  It's extremely difficult for me to admit my failure.  When I started this journey, I really thought I would be so much further along. But, here I am, over a year later, starting over.


I have failed at every attempt I have made to lose weight since high school.  I have gone up and down the scale 10, 20, 30, even 50 pounds.  And, I have gained it all back every time.  The most frustrating part of this struggle is that I can't explain or understand why I can't seem to win this battle.  Why I can't hold on to the success.  

It's so hard to think about needing the lose weight 24/7.  I get so tired of counting calories and thinking about all the food I shouldn't eat, but desperately want.  

In the past three weeks I have started using Fitness Pal again; entering everything I eat and staying within my calorie goal.  I have also started exercising.  I have lost 7 1/2 pounds so far.  

I'm not going to lie to you, it's been hard.  I don't like recording everything I eat, I don't like counting calories and I hate exercising.  What I do like is the progress.  It feels good to see results.  I pray daily that I can keep it up and not lose my will power.  

I also have to tell you that I'm not doing this just to lose weight or to look good.  It stopped being about that a long time ago.  My main goal at this point in my life is to be healthier.  I need to be able to breath when I walk.  I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.  

If you want to follow me on this journey, you are welcome.  I will always be real.  I will share my struggle, my joy, my success, my failure, no matter how ugly it gets; I will be real.  
I welcome your feedback.  Share your journey, your tips, or just your encouragement in the comments section.  Haters are not welcome.  There is no need or usefulness in nasty or hurtful comments.

So, why am I back here today?  The answer is that no matter how many times I fall down, I always get back up.  

Tip of the Day:  I'm eating a lot of apples right now.  They seem to satisfy my sweet tooth and they're also filling between meals.  My favorite is Honey Crisp.

Challenges

I had a challenging weekend.  There is no doubt, I am very human.  In order for this blog to benefit me and my readers I plan to be transparent with my failures as well as my successes.

It started off with an unhappy weigh-in on Friday morning.  I didn't gain.  For that fact alone I know I should have been happy.  But I really wanted to lose and I didn't.    

On top of being discouraged by my non-progress, I had started getting sick the prior evening.  Having just recovered from a stomach bug the week before; I was very disgusted that I was once again under the weather.  By late Friday evening my symptoms included fever, body aches, sinus congestion/pressure, headache, light headed, dizzy, etc...in general, I felt awful.  I was so weak that I stayed in bed all of Saturday and Sunday.    

Let's go back to early Friday...I started feeling a little sorry for myself, okay, maybe a lot sorry for myself. Not a good "head place" for someone trying to lose weight.  Eating has always been a comfort to me.  Being sick, depressed, happy, any emotion has been an excuse to celebrate or soothe with food.

So when we stopped by Andy's after lunch I ordered the medium Key Lime Pie Concrete knowing two things: 1) I didn't need it; I was full from lunch, and 2) the small had almost a whole day's worth of calories and I certainly did not have that many to spare.  

My internal dialogue went something like this:  "I deserve it, I don't feel good.  I don't get to have Andy's that often.  The Key Lime Pie is a seasonal flavor and if I don't order it today I probably won't get one until next year.  I really should order the small.  I mean it's not like I'm getting the large, that's a positive, right? No, not really.  Oh well, it's only this once!"  I know you know what I'm talking about! You've been there!

I'm betting that most of you also know how I felt after I ate that medium Key Lime Pie Concrete.  Not only did I feel sick because I was so full; I felt defeated for giving into my food demon.  Shame hit me pretty hard also, because I knew I had to blog about this failure.  

I promised myself when I started this journey that I would be painfully honest. Even if I only have one reader, I will tell the truth.  Because this journey isn't just about changing my life.  My hope is to encourage others in this battle.  I don't believe that will happen if I don't show you my human side.

Now that I have that off my chest....

No one said this would be easy.  It's important for me to remember that I can start over.  If I make a poor choice, it's not the end of the world.  I just have to end it, and not allow myself to spiral out of control.  No, I don't have to starve myself for the next two days.  I just have to make healthier choices and keep moving forward.

Till next time....God bless!! :)