Challenges

I had a challenging weekend.  There is no doubt, I am very human.  In order for this blog to benefit me and my readers I plan to be transparent with my failures as well as my successes.

It started off with an unhappy weigh-in on Friday morning.  I didn't gain.  For that fact alone I know I should have been happy.  But I really wanted to lose and I didn't.    

On top of being discouraged by my non-progress, I had started getting sick the prior evening.  Having just recovered from a stomach bug the week before; I was very disgusted that I was once again under the weather.  By late Friday evening my symptoms included fever, body aches, sinus congestion/pressure, headache, light headed, dizzy, etc...in general, I felt awful.  I was so weak that I stayed in bed all of Saturday and Sunday.    

Let's go back to early Friday...I started feeling a little sorry for myself, okay, maybe a lot sorry for myself. Not a good "head place" for someone trying to lose weight.  Eating has always been a comfort to me.  Being sick, depressed, happy, any emotion has been an excuse to celebrate or soothe with food.

So when we stopped by Andy's after lunch I ordered the medium Key Lime Pie Concrete knowing two things: 1) I didn't need it; I was full from lunch, and 2) the small had almost a whole day's worth of calories and I certainly did not have that many to spare.  

My internal dialogue went something like this:  "I deserve it, I don't feel good.  I don't get to have Andy's that often.  The Key Lime Pie is a seasonal flavor and if I don't order it today I probably won't get one until next year.  I really should order the small.  I mean it's not like I'm getting the large, that's a positive, right? No, not really.  Oh well, it's only this once!"  I know you know what I'm talking about! You've been there!

I'm betting that most of you also know how I felt after I ate that medium Key Lime Pie Concrete.  Not only did I feel sick because I was so full; I felt defeated for giving into my food demon.  Shame hit me pretty hard also, because I knew I had to blog about this failure.  

I promised myself when I started this journey that I would be painfully honest. Even if I only have one reader, I will tell the truth.  Because this journey isn't just about changing my life.  My hope is to encourage others in this battle.  I don't believe that will happen if I don't show you my human side.

Now that I have that off my chest....

No one said this would be easy.  It's important for me to remember that I can start over.  If I make a poor choice, it's not the end of the world.  I just have to end it, and not allow myself to spiral out of control.  No, I don't have to starve myself for the next two days.  I just have to make healthier choices and keep moving forward.

Till next time....God bless!! :)