Getting Back Up

Yesterday I got back up...again. I guess the best thing I can say about myself is that I never stop getting back up. That's the important thing, not how many times I fall down, but the fact that I keep getting up.

I ate just at 1200 calories yesterday, I consider that a perfect day. The problem then was I had to stop eating. Night time is especially hard. I don't sleep much, so late nights are a regular thing for me. It's then while I'm sitting up watching TV, waiting for the sandman to visit, that I get overwhelmed by snacking urges.

Last night was no different from any other night. I heard the call of the snacks. The difference last night was that I felt like I had some of my determination back. I have to give some credit to a book I'm reading along with a devotional by the same name, "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. It's all about craving God instead of food. I highly recommend it.

If I can get my mind off of food and onto God I feel more in control and growing closer to God is an excellent bonus. I can use my cravings as a prompt to pray or to read my Bible. So the credit really goes to God.

The goal now is to keep my mind on God and off of food. I just have to remember to give my control over to Him. He's a better driver than me.

My cousin told me about this song yesterday called "Broken Ladders" by Selah. After I listened to it I had tears in my eyes. It reminded me that I don't have to have control of everything in my life. It can be scary giving up control, but it's very freeing to let go, especially when you're giving the wheel to God.

I encourage you to put your mind on God. Let him help you with your cravings. God can fill you like no food can and there's no regret or guilt.

I'm going to leave you with a few verses that I hope will help to encourage you.

• Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
• You know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work. (James 1:3-4A)
• I pray that you...grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ...that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:17-19 partial)
• Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
• Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8)
• Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Colossians 3:1-2)

Till next time, God bless! :)

What I've Learned So Far

When I began sharing my journey, I said I would be honest. So far the journey has been slow but steady; but in the past two weeks I have experienced a set-back. I have gained a few pounds and I feel I must share not only my success, but also my miss-steps.

I have no one to blame but myself. I have indulged, I haven't exercised as often; in general, I've been lazy!

What I've learned through this whole process though, is how strong I really am and how far I have come since the beginning.

When I weighed last week and saw a gain, I was truly angry with myself. The rest of my day was a disaster, as far as self control goes; let's just say, I didn't have any. I literally threw in the towel, but only for the day.

By the end of the day I was still angry at myself, angrier because of my loss of control, but more determined than ever to get where I'm headed.

I can't explain it, but I just know, that I know, that I know that I will only fail if I don't get back up, dust myself off and get my head straight again.

I know that with God's help I can do anything I put my mind to.

So, with all that said, I'm scrapping a couple of bad weeks and starting fresh.

I've learned that giving into a craving and having it in the house leads to a binge for me. I just can't handle it. If I'm going to have a treat, it needs to be a serving size and that's it, no left overs, no seconds. If it's here, I will eat it.

I've learned that I need to exercise. Even if it's just for 15 minutes, I need some form of exercise everyday.  It not only helps me with weight loss, it helps with my mood. I'm a much happier, relaxed person when I exercise.

So, I've stumbled, I've taken a step back, and now I'm dusting myself off and I'm back on track. I hope that by sharing my journey, the good, bad and the ugly, that I will encourage someone else who is fighting the same battle.

I would love to hear from you. Feel free to comment and share your struggles, successes or tips!

Till next time, God bless!! :)

Craving

So, I've started reading the book, "Made to Crave," by Lysa Terkeurst. Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food  So far, it's making a lot of sense to me.  The gist I'm getting so far is that I need to transfer my cravings for unhealthy food to a craving for God.

There is a helpful review at the end of the chapters that helps you answer questions about yourself.  I'm finding it very insightful.  I will let you know as I progress through the book how it goes.

I've prayed, actually pleaded, in the past that God would take away my desires to eat unhealthy food, eat when I'm not hungry, eat just because everyone else is eating, eat when I'm happy, eat when I'm sad, eat because I'm nervous, eat when I'm angry, eat just because it's there, and on and on and on.  I think you get the idea, this list could go on for days.  What I haven't tried is praying in the midst of the temptation.  It's usually after a full blown binge or late at night after a day of feeling really bad about myself for having no self-control or just after trying on 10 different items from my closet that are too tight.

So, I'm going to try it.  I'm going to start praying in the midst of the storm.  When I feel the cravings for that candy bar that's screaming at me while I'm in the check-out line at the store, I"m going to pray.  Before meal prayers are now going to include, "help me to know when I'm full and I need to stop eating."  I'm even going to pray when I grocery shop that God will help me to resist buying unhealthy food.

I'll let you know how it goes.  As always, pray for me, I'm going to need it.