Getting Back Up

Yesterday I got back up...again. I guess the best thing I can say about myself is that I never stop getting back up. That's the important thing, not how many times I fall down, but the fact that I keep getting up.

I ate just at 1200 calories yesterday, I consider that a perfect day. The problem then was I had to stop eating. Night time is especially hard. I don't sleep much, so late nights are a regular thing for me. It's then while I'm sitting up watching TV, waiting for the sandman to visit, that I get overwhelmed by snacking urges.

Last night was no different from any other night. I heard the call of the snacks. The difference last night was that I felt like I had some of my determination back. I have to give some credit to a book I'm reading along with a devotional by the same name, "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. It's all about craving God instead of food. I highly recommend it.

If I can get my mind off of food and onto God I feel more in control and growing closer to God is an excellent bonus. I can use my cravings as a prompt to pray or to read my Bible. So the credit really goes to God.

The goal now is to keep my mind on God and off of food. I just have to remember to give my control over to Him. He's a better driver than me.

My cousin told me about this song yesterday called "Broken Ladders" by Selah. After I listened to it I had tears in my eyes. It reminded me that I don't have to have control of everything in my life. It can be scary giving up control, but it's very freeing to let go, especially when you're giving the wheel to God.

I encourage you to put your mind on God. Let him help you with your cravings. God can fill you like no food can and there's no regret or guilt.

I'm going to leave you with a few verses that I hope will help to encourage you.

• Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
• You know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work. (James 1:3-4A)
• I pray that you...grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ...that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:17-19 partial)
• Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
• Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8)
• Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Colossians 3:1-2)

Till next time, God bless! :)

Starting Over Again

"I can not change yesterday, but I can change today!"

I am so hesitant to come back to this blog.  It's extremely difficult for me to admit my failure.  When I started this journey, I really thought I would be so much further along. But, here I am, over a year later, starting over.


I have failed at every attempt I have made to lose weight since high school.  I have gone up and down the scale 10, 20, 30, even 50 pounds.  And, I have gained it all back every time.  The most frustrating part of this struggle is that I can't explain or understand why I can't seem to win this battle.  Why I can't hold on to the success.  

It's so hard to think about needing the lose weight 24/7.  I get so tired of counting calories and thinking about all the food I shouldn't eat, but desperately want.  

In the past three weeks I have started using Fitness Pal again; entering everything I eat and staying within my calorie goal.  I have also started exercising.  I have lost 7 1/2 pounds so far.  

I'm not going to lie to you, it's been hard.  I don't like recording everything I eat, I don't like counting calories and I hate exercising.  What I do like is the progress.  It feels good to see results.  I pray daily that I can keep it up and not lose my will power.  

I also have to tell you that I'm not doing this just to lose weight or to look good.  It stopped being about that a long time ago.  My main goal at this point in my life is to be healthier.  I need to be able to breath when I walk.  I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.  

If you want to follow me on this journey, you are welcome.  I will always be real.  I will share my struggle, my joy, my success, my failure, no matter how ugly it gets; I will be real.  
I welcome your feedback.  Share your journey, your tips, or just your encouragement in the comments section.  Haters are not welcome.  There is no need or usefulness in nasty or hurtful comments.

So, why am I back here today?  The answer is that no matter how many times I fall down, I always get back up.  

Tip of the Day:  I'm eating a lot of apples right now.  They seem to satisfy my sweet tooth and they're also filling between meals.  My favorite is Honey Crisp.