Setback

It has been a while since my last post. The reason for that is simple, I feel like a failure.

Since my last post I have peddled backwards. It's hard to admit it, but here it is, I have gained weight.

This journey is hard but I have come too far to give up and I refuse to admit defeat. Like I have said before, you only truly fail if you don't get up and keep going. And, I have no intention of stopping now.

I want to encourage you wherever you're at in your journey. Whether you are at the beginning, the middle, or maybe like me struggling with a setback, you can do it. One moment, one day at a time. Stop thinking about next week, next month or even tomorrow. Just think about right now.

Moving forward...

On a Roll

I am so excited and proud to say that I have lost 42 pounds since the beginning of this journey.  

Yesterday morning at my weekly weigh-in, not only did I lose 3.2 pounds, but I also reached a personal milestone.  I did an embarrassing little happy dance when I got off the scale and I haven't been able to stop smiling since.

This has been one of the hardest battles I have fought.  I can truly say there have been times when I wanted to throw in the towel and just quit because the progress seemed slow and it was just so hard.

The determination that I have to get healthy is stronger than it ever has been.  I still have a ways to go, but I'm closer than I've been in a long time to reaching my goals.

At a very low point, when I felt like all my hard work was in vain, I seriously thought, 'Okay, I'm done, I'm giving up!' But, then I took a look back at how far I had come and it became impossible for me to quit.  I had to keep going!  I remember thinking at that moment, 'I've got this.  This time is really going to stick.'

Like I said, I have a ways to go before I reach my final goal, but I feel more certain than ever that I will get there.

I hope that my story might encourage anyone who may be on the same journey.  If I can do it, so can you!  I have an extremely slow metabolism, having hypothyroidism.  For most of this journey my condition has been out of control.  I have had my medications changed about four times since the start of this ride.  It hasn't been easy, but it is so worth it!

Walking, Weigh-Ins, etc...

Walking

I have finally started walking.  Not only have I started, I'm being consistent.  I have had the "Walk Away The Pounds Express - Advanced Walk - 3 Miles" DVD for a very long time.  Last week I finally put it in the player and walked.  It's set up as a kind of power walk and you can walk one, two or three miles.  It incorporates kick backs, knee lifts, side steps and some arm movements for upper body.

At present, I am walking one mile.  Last week I walked three days.  This week my goal is to walk at least four days.  This week I also added some upper body toning, in hopes of getting rid of my flabby arms.

Up until now, I have been exercising, but not as aggressively.  I was doing leg lifts, crunches and wall push ups.  I was being consistent, but I knew I needed something better that would get my heart pumping.  So, I'm proud of myself for finally getting started.


Weigh-in

My last weigh-in was a bit frustrating and uncertain.

Our scales are digital and we have had them for longer than I can remember.  For several weeks now they have been out of whack; not wanting to come on and very slow to read.  Even after replacing the batteries, they didn't seem to be working properly.  So, after some research, we bought a new set.

The problem is, the new scales weighed me heavier than my old scales (1.7 pounds).  Now, I'm certain they are more accurate and that's great, but what I'm not certain of is whether I actually gained weight or not. Regardless, I recorded my new heavier weight into my weight journal.

I won't lie to you, I wasn't happy to have to record a gain.  In fact, at first I was really upset; just ask my husband.  He suffers from my poor moods, but he's also one of my biggest supporters and is always quick to encourage and remind me of how far I've come.

I finally decided that it just doesn't matter.  This is my journey.  There will be ups and downs.  What matters is that when I have those downs, I don't stay down.

I wallowed for about three or four hours; I'm human.  But then I told myself to shake it off and suck it up.  I'm not the same girl I was a year ago, or even six months ago.  That girl could have easily thrown in the towel and binged on a bag of Oreos.

This new me is determined to keep moving forward.  No matter how many times I fall down, I will get back up.  As I've said before, this is no quick fix.  This is a life long journey and I've got miles to go, but I'm getting closer everyday.


Till next time, God bless!
#mandigirllosingit #amandaglass

Confession Time

I must confess, the past week and a half have been incredibly difficult for me.  At times I literally lost control, and I failed to journal most of last week.  As I've shared before, journaling is essential for me.

I have no trouble putting my finger on the problem.  I have been feeling stressed and then I came down with a nasty cold.  Those are two huge triggers for me.  My self-control went right down the drain and I ate just about everything I could put my hands on.  (I'm not kidding!!)

Confession made, I'm happy to report that I am back on track this week.  I have regained my self-control and determination.  I refuse to turn back.  This journey isn't easy; I never thought it would be.  Nothing worth doing is ever easy...right?

The reason I share this detour in my journey (I refuse to call it a failure.  Failure is falling down and not getting back up.) is to let you know that I'm human.  I make mistakes and it's okay.

I want to encourage anyone who is traveling this road with me to be real.  Don't beat yourself up when you stumble.  Get up, dust yourself off and keep moving.  We can do this!  Take it one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.


Philippians 4:13
I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Finding My Power

Someone shared the following quote on Facebook today and I have made it my new motto:

"You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself."

Glinda in The Wizard of Oz

When I read the above quote today something clicked inside my head.  I have always had the power inside of me to change my health for the better.  I just had to believe it.  And nothing is more empowering than progress.  As of today, I can report that I have lost two more pounds bringing my total loss to six pounds since returning home from vacation.  

This new journey is not easy; but what is that old saying?  "Nothing worth having ever came easy."

Getting a handle on my eating habits has been easier than increasing my activity levels.  My biggest problem is lack of energy.  At the moment I am really battling my insomnia.  No sleep equals one very sluggish woman.  However, I am aware that regular exercise will produce more energy and boost positive emotions; so I'm going to start putting one foot in front of the other and pushing through.  Hopefully my sleeping will improve as well.

Speaking of exercise, I promised that I would keep you all apprised of my Zumba experience.  I was very optimistic and excited about trying it.  But I really should have considered how terribly uncoordinated I am before I ordered the DVD.  I suffered a temporary lapse in judgement; I forgot that I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time.  That being said, I'm not giving up.  I'm just going to move and try to have fun at the same time.  Like I've said before, if I don't like it, I won't do it.

Before I go, I want to share a few tips/tricks that I am finding helpful.  Maybe they will work for you too.

• Munch on Crushed Ice:  This keeps me from looking for something to eat between meals.  Added benefit; I'm upping my water intake.
• Brush Your Teeth or Chew Minty Sugar Free Gum:  Brushing my teeth or chewing minty sugar free gum will temporarily cause foods/treats to taste bad.  
• My Fitness Pal:  As I mentioned in my earlier post, at http://www.myfitnesspal.com you can sign-up for a free account and journal your meals, exercise, and progress.  I can't recommend this tool enough.  It is essential for me to keep track of my calories so that I don't get off course.

It is my hope that sharing my journey will encourage others who are struggling.  I am by no means a professional. There are going to be ups and downs and I am going to make mistakes along the way.  But I feel like I have finally found my power.  I encourage you to search within yourself and find yours too.  It's there, you just have to believe it!

Until next time, God bless!!!  :)

This Is Me

This is me.  This picture was taken in late June while I was on vacation with my family.  I was miserable.  I couldn't walk and breathe at the same time.

This vacation was a wake up call for me.  I had to do something to change my health.  I did not want to go on being this way.  There were a couple of moments during this vacation that I cried because of how uncomfortable I was in my own body.

I haven't always been this heavy but  I have always struggled with my weight.  When I was about 14 - 15 years old I had reached 200 pounds. That's way too much weight for someone who is only a hair over five foot tall. I decided then to make a change.  I started counting calories and exercising and I managed to lose 70 pounds over the next year.

I kept the weight off for the most part (it was a constant struggle) until I was married.

When I was pregnant with my son I gained 40 pounds.  When he was born he weighed ten pounds and before I left the hospital I had lost 27 pounds.  I lost the rest of the baby weight before returning to work, but I was still a little heavier than I wanted to be.

My son was about two years old when I started Weight Watchers online.  I started losing at a pretty steady pace and was feeling a lot better about myself.  Then something went wrong.

I was dead on my feet.  I was so tired and sleepy (me the insomniac) all the time; all I wanted to do was sleep.  My hair started falling out, my skin broke out, my fingernails were splitting and chipping, and I started gaining weight quickly.  I gained 30 pounds in a month!  I thought I was dying.

I made an appointment and went to see my doctor.  After running some tests, he discovered  that my thyroid had basically quit working.  I have been taking medication for hypothyroidism since that day.

Losing the weight was much harder after that.  It seemed I had to work much harder and it came off very slowly.  I battled with the scales, up and down, up and down.  I eventually just gave up.  I was tired of fighting.

You know what happened then?  I gained more weight.

That brings me to the present.  Here I am, not the heaviest I've ever been, but way too heavy for my small stature and miserable in my own skin.  I'm being gut-wrenchingly honest here.  I don't normally talk about something this personal to me in this open a manner.  My weight is a very personal and embarrassing issue to me.

I have lost four pounds since I returned from vacation.  I'm eating less and moving more.  I'm trying to make positive healthy changes in my life.  I have a long way to go before I reach my goal but I'm more determined than ever to get there.

I have decided to write about this journey because I know I'm not the only person fighting this battle.  I hope that writing about it will help me stay on track.  Maybe it will help you too.  I welcome your encouragement, tips, or even questions (no haters please).

God Bless...
 

Update

Well people, I'm not doing so good on the diet front.  I rejoined Weight Watchers, but I have managed to gain weight, not lose.  I am very discouraged and down on myself at the moment.  I just can't seem to get my momentum going in the right direction.

No fear, though, I am not giving up by any means.  This week I am doing much better and I am determined to stick to my goal.  I knew starting out that this was going to be a hard road to travel and I told you all that I would be honest about my struggles.

To be honest, I haven't posted in a while because I am so disappointed in myself and I didn't want everyone to know that I haven't made any progress.  But, I feel like if I don't let you know and I don't admit the truth, then I will continue to hide my head in the sand.  So, hopefully this update will give me the kick in the butt I need to get my momentum heading in the right direction.

So, good or bad, I will be giving an update on Tuesday, which is the day I have to weigh in.  I know I'm not alone in this struggle and I hope that I can encourage others battling this same issue.

Till Tuesday....