Frustration

Monday, October 13, 2014 - 9:00 a.m.

I know I really shouldn't be complaining.  I have lost 7 1/2 pounds since starting over.  But this past week the scale hasn't moved and it is incredibly frustrating.

I have tracked all my food, I have stayed within my calorie range, I have exercised and nothing, not even 1/2 a pound.  It's days like this that I get so discouraged and wonder if it's even worth the fight.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up.  I just need to vent and I promised I would be honest.  I wouldn't be being honest with you or myself if I didn't admit how hard this is sometimes.

Monday, October 13, 2014 - 10:48 p.m.

After the frustration of this morning's weigh-in I was determined not to let my disappointment affect my choices today.  In the past it has been my downfall.  Having a bad weigh-in would almost always lead to a binge.

Not today, today I made solid choices.  I had soup for lunch and a smart, healthy afternoon snack.  I saved the bulk of my calories for this evening.  I had Bunco at a friend's house and I was pretty certain there would be something tempting to eat; and I was right.  My dear friend made Apple Dumplings for dessert and I was able to indulge.

I'm so proud of myself for not losing control.  I can go to sleep tonight with no regrets on my mind.

Starting Over Again

"I can not change yesterday, but I can change today!"

I am so hesitant to come back to this blog.  It's extremely difficult for me to admit my failure.  When I started this journey, I really thought I would be so much further along. But, here I am, over a year later, starting over.


I have failed at every attempt I have made to lose weight since high school.  I have gone up and down the scale 10, 20, 30, even 50 pounds.  And, I have gained it all back every time.  The most frustrating part of this struggle is that I can't explain or understand why I can't seem to win this battle.  Why I can't hold on to the success.  

It's so hard to think about needing the lose weight 24/7.  I get so tired of counting calories and thinking about all the food I shouldn't eat, but desperately want.  

In the past three weeks I have started using Fitness Pal again; entering everything I eat and staying within my calorie goal.  I have also started exercising.  I have lost 7 1/2 pounds so far.  

I'm not going to lie to you, it's been hard.  I don't like recording everything I eat, I don't like counting calories and I hate exercising.  What I do like is the progress.  It feels good to see results.  I pray daily that I can keep it up and not lose my will power.  

I also have to tell you that I'm not doing this just to lose weight or to look good.  It stopped being about that a long time ago.  My main goal at this point in my life is to be healthier.  I need to be able to breath when I walk.  I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.  

If you want to follow me on this journey, you are welcome.  I will always be real.  I will share my struggle, my joy, my success, my failure, no matter how ugly it gets; I will be real.  
I welcome your feedback.  Share your journey, your tips, or just your encouragement in the comments section.  Haters are not welcome.  There is no need or usefulness in nasty or hurtful comments.

So, why am I back here today?  The answer is that no matter how many times I fall down, I always get back up.  

Tip of the Day:  I'm eating a lot of apples right now.  They seem to satisfy my sweet tooth and they're also filling between meals.  My favorite is Honey Crisp.