"I can not change yesterday, but I can change today!"
I am so hesitant to come back to this blog. It's extremely difficult for me to admit my failure. When I started this journey, I really thought I would be so much further along. But, here I am, over a year later, starting over.
I have failed at every attempt I have made to lose weight since high school. I have gone up and down the scale 10, 20, 30, even 50 pounds. And, I have gained it all back every time. The most frustrating part of this struggle is that I can't explain or understand why I can't seem to win this battle. Why I can't hold on to the success.
It's so hard to think about needing the lose weight 24/7. I get so tired of counting calories and thinking about all the food I shouldn't eat, but desperately want.
In the past three weeks I have started using Fitness Pal again; entering everything I eat and staying within my calorie goal. I have also started exercising. I have lost 7 1/2 pounds so far.
I'm not going to lie to you, it's been hard. I don't like recording everything I eat, I don't like counting calories and I hate exercising. What I do like is the progress. It feels good to see results. I pray daily that I can keep it up and not lose my will power.
I also have to tell you that I'm not doing this just to lose weight or to look good. It stopped being about that a long time ago. My main goal at this point in my life is to be healthier. I need to be able to breath when I walk. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
If you want to follow me on this journey, you are welcome. I will always be real. I will share my struggle, my joy, my success, my failure, no matter how ugly it gets; I will be real.
I welcome your feedback. Share your journey, your tips, or just your encouragement in the comments section. Haters are not welcome. There is no need or usefulness in nasty or hurtful comments.
So, why am I back here today? The answer is that no matter how many times I fall down, I always get back up.