Friday, July 30, 2010


Well, today was "weigh day."  I hate stepping on the scales.  In fact, on my last visit to the doctor I wanted to ask the nurse to let me stand on the scales backwards and to not tell me what it said!  My fear is that one day my doctor's office will have scales that actually say your weight out loud.  Why in the name of all that is holy would someone invent that?

Today was not so bad.  I have lost 3.5 pounds this week.  Yea! Yippee! Praise the Lord!  I feel successful for the first time in a long time.  I know I still have a ways to go, but it feels good to know that I have made the first step.

This week has not been without it's challenges.  Yesterday I wanted to throw in the towel.  I was tempted by fun size Twix bars.  Chocolate is a weakness for me.  I ate one and then the rest of the evening they were calling out to me..."just one more, nobody has to know."  But, I told you all that I was going to be brutally honest, so the other voice inside my head (there are many LOL) that kept saying..."you will regret it, don't give in, you know once you start you won't stop (this voice knows me so well)," won in the end.

I find that with every little slip I become a little weaker.  On the other hand, with every little success I become stronger.  So, I will continue to build on these little successes until I am standing on top of this mountain in front of me.

The next challenge, that I know I must face, is exercise.  I know I need to do it, but I absolutely despise it.  It doesn't help that it is so blazing hot outside.  I have to find something that I can do physically, I have a very old back (degenerative joint and disc disease, bulging discs, bone spurs, blah, blah, get the point).  I also want to find something that I will stick to.  That will be the hardest part, because like I said this has to be a life change.  It can't be temporary.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Beginning Again

I wish I knew how much weight I have lost in my lifetime.  I'm sure I can't even fathom the number and it would probably only depress me.

I have struggled with my weight since I was about 12 years old.  It has been a constant roller coaster ride.  I lost 70 pounds in high school and managed to keep it off for a few years.  I was at a pretty decent weight when I met my husband and got married.  I even managed to lose weight after I had my son.

It was when my son was two years old that I suddenly started to gain weight uncontrollably and seemingly overnight.  I gained 30 pounds very quickly and I felt like I was going to die.  I went to my doctor and discovered that I had hypothyroidism.

Long story short, I have been on medication ever since.  The medication took away most of the symptoms I had, but it has not taken away the excess weight.  In fact, the battle of the bulge just got much more difficult.  Over the past two years I have lost 50 pounds and gained 20.

That said, I am beginning the journey again.  This week I have started counting calories.  I hate dieting.  I know that true success cannot be obtained through diet.  It has to be a complete change of life.  I have to change my habits and my way of thinking.

I'm inviting you to join me on this journey.  I have 90 pounds to lose.  I will be keeping track of my progress here on my blog.  I intend to be honest.  It will be brutal I'm sure.  I have never been open about my weight.  I mean, it's obvious that I'm overweight.  One only has to look at me to know that.  But, I have never been open and honest about the amount of weight I need to lose and the demons I fight to be obedient to a healthy lifestyle.

So, get ready!  There will be laughter, tears, anger, pain, joy and ultimately success!  I'm determined to change my life. Cheerleaders are welcome to leave comments.  Haters, please stay away.