Difficult Week But Still Moving Forward

This past week was a very difficult one.  I have had the worst kind of cravings.  For the most part I was able to exercise self control.  I did, however, have a temporary set-back on Friday.  I broke down and had onion rings from Sonic.  Now I'm not talking about just a few onion rings.  I went all out and ordered a large.  Do you know how many calories are in a large order of onion rings?  There are over 600 calories in a large order of onion rings and I ate every last one of them!

The worst part of this lapse in judgement was the feeling afterward.  I felt awful and extremely disappointed in myself.  

Not all was lost though, because although I struggled; my weigh-in was not disappointing.  The scales showed I was down another 1/2 pound this week; bringing me to a total of 12 1/2 pounds lost. I certainly can't and won't complain about that.

In a way it's getting easier to make the right choices.  Today we had lunch at Cracker Barrel and I automatically went to the healthy portion of the menu.  I think that the fact that I had a recent set-back was helpful in my decision making process.

While I was looking at the menu I didn't just see the healthy menu.  I, of course, saw all the tempting offerings that were definitely the wrong choices.  But, I also remembered how I felt after making a poor choice on Friday.  I'm proud to say I made the right choice today.





Note:  I saw this picture online the other day and I thought it might be a neat visual reminder to help stay motivated.  I'm going to use some colorful marbles in mine.  

Plateau Broken - Finally

I finally broke through my two-week plateau.  This morning's weigh-in revealed a 1 1/2 pound loss.  I can't tell you how happy I am.  I was feeling so frustrated and dangerously close to a full-on binge.

My husband recently joined a weight loss challenge at work and it has helped me tremendously.  In fact, if he hadn't been so supportive over the weekend, when I was feeling my weakest, I probably would have given up.

I am a little annoyed with him though.  In his first week he lost as much weight as it has taken me a month to lose.  All annoyance and kidding aside; I'm so proud of him and myself for making the decision to get healthy.

Tonight we had spaghetti squash with meat sauce for dinner.  I use it in place of regular spaghetti noodles.  It's very good and we don't miss the pasta at all.  I love that you get the added vegetables without really noticing.  This is especially helpful where my son is concerned.

It gets easier to make better/healthier decision with each passing day.  I feel stronger in my resolve than I have in a really long time and
positive about my progress.  And even though I have a really long road ahead of me, I finally feel like I have a little momentum behind me.

Frustration

Monday, October 13, 2014 - 9:00 a.m.

I know I really shouldn't be complaining.  I have lost 7 1/2 pounds since starting over.  But this past week the scale hasn't moved and it is incredibly frustrating.

I have tracked all my food, I have stayed within my calorie range, I have exercised and nothing, not even 1/2 a pound.  It's days like this that I get so discouraged and wonder if it's even worth the fight.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up.  I just need to vent and I promised I would be honest.  I wouldn't be being honest with you or myself if I didn't admit how hard this is sometimes.

Monday, October 13, 2014 - 10:48 p.m.

After the frustration of this morning's weigh-in I was determined not to let my disappointment affect my choices today.  In the past it has been my downfall.  Having a bad weigh-in would almost always lead to a binge.

Not today, today I made solid choices.  I had soup for lunch and a smart, healthy afternoon snack.  I saved the bulk of my calories for this evening.  I had Bunco at a friend's house and I was pretty certain there would be something tempting to eat; and I was right.  My dear friend made Apple Dumplings for dessert and I was able to indulge.

I'm so proud of myself for not losing control.  I can go to sleep tonight with no regrets on my mind.

Starting Over Again

"I can not change yesterday, but I can change today!"

I am so hesitant to come back to this blog.  It's extremely difficult for me to admit my failure.  When I started this journey, I really thought I would be so much further along. But, here I am, over a year later, starting over.


I have failed at every attempt I have made to lose weight since high school.  I have gone up and down the scale 10, 20, 30, even 50 pounds.  And, I have gained it all back every time.  The most frustrating part of this struggle is that I can't explain or understand why I can't seem to win this battle.  Why I can't hold on to the success.  

It's so hard to think about needing the lose weight 24/7.  I get so tired of counting calories and thinking about all the food I shouldn't eat, but desperately want.  

In the past three weeks I have started using Fitness Pal again; entering everything I eat and staying within my calorie goal.  I have also started exercising.  I have lost 7 1/2 pounds so far.  

I'm not going to lie to you, it's been hard.  I don't like recording everything I eat, I don't like counting calories and I hate exercising.  What I do like is the progress.  It feels good to see results.  I pray daily that I can keep it up and not lose my will power.  

I also have to tell you that I'm not doing this just to lose weight or to look good.  It stopped being about that a long time ago.  My main goal at this point in my life is to be healthier.  I need to be able to breath when I walk.  I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.  

If you want to follow me on this journey, you are welcome.  I will always be real.  I will share my struggle, my joy, my success, my failure, no matter how ugly it gets; I will be real.  
I welcome your feedback.  Share your journey, your tips, or just your encouragement in the comments section.  Haters are not welcome.  There is no need or usefulness in nasty or hurtful comments.

So, why am I back here today?  The answer is that no matter how many times I fall down, I always get back up.  

Tip of the Day:  I'm eating a lot of apples right now.  They seem to satisfy my sweet tooth and they're also filling between meals.  My favorite is Honey Crisp.