57 Pounds Down

Looking in the mirror is getting a little easier. After losing 57 pounds I'm feeling so much better. It's easier to breath, it's easier to move, my clothes feel better, and my confidence is growing.

It's been a really long time since I've updated this blog. So much has happened and changed since my last post.

I hit rock bottom. I reached an all time high with my weight, I was suffering with several co-morbidity issues, and frankly I was not living my life. I was miserable.

So, in December of 2018 I attended a seminar on weight loss surgery. That day started a year long journey to what I consider the beginning of my chance at a new, healthier life.

This journey has not been easy by any means. I had to jump through many hoops to get approved for surgery. And although it was sometimes very frustrating, I wouldn't change a thing. I would do it all over in a heartbeat to have this chance to make the life altering changes that are leading me to a healthier lifestyle.

November 5, 2019 was my surgery date. The day that has changed my life for the better. Again, it hasn't been easy. I may not have physical hunger like I did before, but I still have head hunger. I can't eat that much at one time, but if I wanted to I could graze all day long. So don't believe that surgery is a quick fix. It is a tool and you have to use it properly for it to work.

I have a ways to go to get to my goal. And I'm still living with those co-morbidity issues, but they are improving. The most important thing is that I have made a permanent lifestyle change, one that I will strive to maintain for the rest of my life.

Stay tuned, the best is yet to come.

It's Not a Race

It seems like any time I have embarked on a weight loss journey I feel like I'm starting a race.  It's like I'm standing at the starting line and someone yells, "On your mark, set, go!"  I imagine a gun shot and then I'm propelling myself forward, racing toward the finish line as fast as I can.

I have this sense of urgency that keeps me worried about how quickly I'm progressing and what people are thinking about said progress.  After a while, I start to feel overwhelmed.

If you read my blog, then you know that I hit a plateau not long ago.   It was very frustrating and I couldn't stop thinking about how far I "should have" come in that length of time, which felt like an eternity to me.

Thankfully, I broke past the plateau and am moving forward once again.  But, it was toward the end of this plateau that I learned a valuable lesson and it has changed the way I'm viewing this journey; it is a journey, not a race.

The lesson came when I had to see my doctor.  I was worried, expecting him to be disappointed in my lack of progress with my weight loss.  I've been seeing the doctor quite regularly since the beginning of the year and it had been a month since my last visit.

I went through the drill, you know what I'm talking about, weigh-in, temp and blood pressure check. Then it's off to a room to wait...and worry.  Isn't that the worst part of the doctor's visit, the waiting? I was contemplating how I was going to explain myself.

The doctor came in and was going over all my numbers and his notes from my last visit.  He was very pleased with my blood pressure, which was perfect for the first time in forever, praise you Jesus! I was waiting for him to say something about my weight, but guess what, he didn't!

Well, I couldn't let it go, I had to ask.  I was so frustrated about it and I thought maybe he could give me some advice.  What he said made me so happy, I wanted to hug him.  It also changed my perspective.

He looked at my chart and noted that I had lost four pounds since my previous visit and he thought that was great. He told me that was a lot of weight for someone to lose in a month and that I shouldn't be so worried about the number on the scale. He told me that the scale wasn't the most important number to worry about. My blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.. those numbers were what I needed to be concerned with, and they are improving.  He told me that the slower the weight loss, the better and more sustainable it would be.  I knew that, but we women can be so impatient.  He told me to stop worrying so much and just keep doing what I'm doing and that progress would come.

Like I said, I wanted to hug him.  I left his office with a completely different outlook on my progress and my future.  I felt calm for the first time in a long time.

At my last weigh-in I was half a pound away from hitting a total of 30 pounds lost.  I'm so happy with the progress I've made and I'm so proud that I didn't give up when the going went sideways! There were a few times I wasn't sure I could go on, but I did and I'm not giving up any time soon.

There are no quick fixes, not for me.  I've tried the quick fix, it doesn't last.  It has to become a lifestyle.  I don't have to be perfect.  I'm going to mess up and I'm going to have bad days, but that's alright.  I'm learning as I go and I'm slowing down to enjoy the ride.

Till next time, God bless!  :)