Sunday, November 22, 2015

Stuck

I know it's been a while since I have written. I have been waiting to be able to report good news.

The truth is, I have been stuck for several weeks now; not moving forward, not moving backward. And, although I'm very happy to not be moving backward, it is unbelievably frustrating to not be moving forward.

I have had several moments when I just want to throw in the towel. Moments when I tell myself maybe I'm just meant to stay this way. These are the moments I have to remind myself of how far I have come.

I also have to remind myself that it's not just about losing the weight. It's about my health and getting my blood pressure and cholesterol under control.

My next challenge will be the holidays.  Thanksgiving is this week and all I can think about is how will I get through the next few weeks without completely blowing it.

And the answer is, I will get through the next few weeks the same way I get through every single day - one day, one moment at a time.

Yes, I will mess up, yes, I will indulge (it's the holidays!).  Hopefully I will have more good days than bad and life will go on.

This journey is not easy.  It's not going to way I want it to or how I expected it to.  That's life though, isn't it?  Plans don't always go the way we had in mind.  There have been more downs than ups.  I want to kick and scream and shout, "It's not fair!"

When all is said and done I will get up and dust myself off and keep moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other.  I will get there in my time.  I will not give up, that's not an option.